Worries: Lean In, Don't Lean Away
We often hear that worries are something to dismiss, ignore, or push through. It’s like there’s an expectation to just “get over it” when the worries come knocking. But I’m here to offer a different perspective—one that’s not only more empowering but also seriously effective.
What if instead of avoiding or resisting worry, we leaned into it? What if we acknowledged it and approached it head-on? Sounds a little wild, right? But trust me, it works.
The Hidden Driver of Worry: Emotion
Worries are a pattern of thought, yes—but they’re often driven by something deeper: emotion. So, what’s the number one emotion behind worry?
Powerlessness.
When we feel powerless, we believe we’re smaller than the worry. We feel like the worries have control over us, and that we’re simply at their mercy. But here’s the truth: This is a false belief. You have the power to transform this.
A Better Way to Approach Worry
Instead of feeling helpless, let’s explore how to take back control and use worry as an opportunity to become stronger and more resilient. Here’s an exercise that helps me and many of my clients work through worry in a way that’s empowering:
1. Name the Worry
The first step is to nameyour worry. Become aware of it. By simply acknowledging it as a worry, you’re already 80% of the way there. You’re breaking the cycle of unconscious rumination and distancing yourself from the belief that your worries are fact.
2. Write It Down
Get a piece of paper, and create two columns. On the left side, list all of your worries. On the right side, write down possible strategies to deal with them. Even if some of your worries seem unrealistic, it’s empowering to have a plan for those that could happen.
Example:
Worry: “I won’t be able to keep up with my deadlines at work.”
Strategy: Break down tasks into smaller chunks and ask for support if needed.
When you proactively plan, you regain a sense of autonomy. You can’t control everything, but you can always prepare.
3. Empower Yourself Through Action
Start thinking about the questions you need to ask yourself in moments of worry.
What can I do to prevent this?
How can I cope if it happens?
What skills do I need to develop to manage this situation?
What do I need to radically accept?
How can I set stronger boundaries?
While you can’t stop life from throwing curveballs, you can be ready for them, knowing that you have the tools to handle whatever comes your way.
4. Some Worries Are Just "Delulu"
Then, there are those worries that are just… well, delusional. Like wondering if Jason Momoa will be in Perth for your wedding—don’t waste too much energy on that one!
In these moments, it's time to put the worry in the #DELULU box. Just let it go.
But if you’re struggling to simply dismiss those worries, there are powerful therapeutic strategies to help you disconnect from them:
Bracketing: Putting the worry in a mental box and choosing not to engage with it.
Mindfulness: Grounding yourself in the present moment.
Invalidating or discrediting the thought: Recognising that it’s not true or worth your energy.
Exploring your inner child: Sometimes worries stem from old wounds that need healing.
If the worry feels intense and persistent, techniques like EMDR(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help neutralise the anxiety or panic they cause.
What’s the Takeaway?
Here’s the message I want to leave you with today, you sensational, strong, powerful human:
Trust yourself more.
Worries don’t have to control you. In fact, they can be a learning experience—an opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. So, the next time worry knocks on your door, don’t turn it away. Lean in. Address it. Set your boundaries. And show those worries about who’s in charge.
By doing this, you’ll feel bigger, stronger, and more capable of facing what’s ahead. You’ve got this. I believe in you.
Need Support?
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this practice, I’d love for you to connect with two of my brilliant colleagues who specialise in this area: Viola Prinz, Inner Child Specialist, available in Cottesloe and online.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by worry, we’ll help guide you on the next steps toward turning your worries into warrior strength.
